The last month has been such a spiritual journey for me. I know that sounds kind of lame, but it is true, nevertheless. Our church, Fellowship of Frisco, started it's Spring/Summer Women's Bible Study about 5 weeks ago. We meet every Thursday night at my wonderful friend Megan's house. So, what's the big deal about a Bible study...doesn't every church have them? Yes, but not like this...at least not for me.
If you know me at all, you know that I am somewhat afraid to be social with other women. I just have this HUGE fear of friendship because I have had some pretty hard times with other women...of which I am not blameless, I can assure you. Anyway, I really wanted this Bible study because I wanted to go deeper in the Word, but I also wanted to push myself beyond my fear of going deeper with other women. So, the first week of the study I was a nervous wreck because I would only know 1 person at the study. Everyone else would be totally new to me. I think that I prayed the entire way over to Megan's house. My palms were sweaty and I probably could have thrown up. I got there, and I immediately felt at peace. Every woman there was so sweet and welcoming. We are all in the same season of life...married, stay-at-home moms, with kids under the age of 5. Sisters in Christ. No other words necessary. That's a bond that is divinely ordained...and I am so thankful that God put these ladies in my life. I can't tell you how many hurts that are on their way to being healed because of them. I have so much joy because of each individual lady, and that is starting to restore parts of my soul that I didn't know could be healed.
I am also starting to come to terms with another issue in my life. A little over a year ago I was hurt beyond words. My soul ached in ways that I didn't know was possible. I felt abandoned, lied to, and manipulated. I'mot going to go into details about what happened because that would not be beneficial for anyone, but trust me when I say that I was totally devasted.
(Disclaimer: This is in no way related to my husband other than the fact that he held my hand, prayed with me and for me, and showed me his love and loyalty. I am blessed beyond reason and wwwwaaaayyyy beyond what I deserve to be married to Tyron.) I honestly mourned as though someone close to me had gone to be with Jesus. Over the past year I didn't know if I could ever feel the way I once had about being part of a church. Through everything though, the LORD walked with me each step. Like a Kindergarten teacher on the first day of school holding a scared little girl's hand and telling her that her mommy will be here to pick her up. That He wouldn't and never did abandon me...He would never hurt me. The LORD quickly led us to FOF, and He has over the past year shown me that I didn't have to be afraid. He gave us a pastor that immediately loved us and without even knowing it helped me to trust in our church and our God. Now, I have new but deep relationships with all these women. In these things there is new joy and much restoration. I am so grateful that the Lord has brought me to this place. It has been painful, but God has held me and my family in the palm of His sovereign and loving hand.
I know that this has been an extremely long post. I had to put it out there in words though. There is much glory to be given to God, and I plan on giving it to Him every day of my life.
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." - 1 Peter 5: 10-11"If God has ordained difficulty for you, He has also ordained restoration for you." - Beth Moore
