Thankful

I am reminded on a daily basis of how blessed I really am. {There are just some days that I don't want to pay attention to the reminder... :-)} For those of you who don't know, it's a miracle that Tyron and I have kids at all.

When I was 23, I found out that I had tumors in both of my ovaries...BIG tumors at that. I ended up having a surgery pretty much immediately, and the doctor had to remove one ovary and fallopian tube and reconstructed the other. It was a pretty crazy thing. After surgery, the doctor told Tyron and me (we were engaged at the time) that I would have a hard time carrying a baby to term. Boy, was that ever true. Obviously, Tyron married me anyway, despite the drama. :-)

I had my first miscarriage in November of 2003. I was almost 13 weeks along. It was the saddest, scariest, angriest time of my life. A month after I was done with the first miscarriage, I found out unexpectedly that I was pregnant again. Two days later, I miscarried that baby too. Talk about angry, sad, and confused. Two months after that, I found out I was pregnant AGAIN. 33.5 weeks into a complicated, yucky pregnancy, Luke was born. He is and was the most wonderful little boy. On Luke's first birthday, I found out I was pregnant again with Faith. She was early, but not as early as Luke. Then between Faith and Hannah, I had a miscarriage again, and then I found a month later that I was pregnant again. Hannah was born 9 months later.

I don't write this to express my sadness or anger about my miscarriages. I write this to remind myself and others that even when life feels bad, GOD is GOOD. He walked with Tyron and me through every step and decision. He comforted us with His Word and mercy. He surrounded us with friends and family that let us be broken and sad. Looking back, there was so much light in the midst of the darkness that I can say that even through the sadness and confusion the time was sweet. We really got to know God's mercy and love during this time. Sometimes it takes God breaking me into a million pieces just so I will let HIM be the one to put me back together.

So, I am THANKFUL for the hurt, the grace, the growth, the love, the strength, and the 6 pregnancies that I have experienced. I am thankful that God gave me a blessed marriage and 3 wonderful, beautiful, and healthy kids. I. AM. THANKFUL.