My New Journal

I have been thinking...I know, strange but no less true. Here's my question: In 25 years, will you remember your feelings, your struggles, your victories, who you are today? What are the things that you want your kids to remember about you, if God forbid you die today, tomorrow, or next year? My husband's mom died when he was 12 (maybe 13...I know - I should know this age). He has very few real memories about who she was as a person. He remembers doing things with her, her favorite George Strait song, and that he sometimes got to eat Fruity Pebbles for supper; he doesn't remember her though. He doesn't remember her personality. He doesn't remember what she was really like, and it breaks my heart. What if I die before my kids are grown? I want my kids to remember ME. I want them to know who their mom is and was. I want to remember me and praise God for just how far He has brought me. If I were to write down all the kinks that God has worked out of me in the last 10 years, this blog entry would probably take at least an hour to read. (I won't disclose that info for the sake of some that might read my blog...I don't want any toes curling.) I want to remember the things that I struggle through and overcome. I want to see my prayers answered, so in 5 years I can look back and see how faithful God has been to me.

All that to say I have a new journal. It's not an every day journal. It's a "when I feel like journaling" journal. I want to write in it the things that I want my kids to know about me. Imperfections and all. The real me...not my "representative" me. I want them to know how screwed up I have been and that God can take you out of any pit. I want to journal my life now so that I can remember what it feels like to be short on cash, exhausted but delighted from taking care of my babies, how totally in love I am with my husband, and that I am so very thankful that I have God on my side. I want to remember these things when my kids are going through them with their families. I want to be able to truly empathize. I want my kids to know how their dad and I feel about each other. I want them to have what Tyron and I have in each other. Really, I could go on FOREVER.

So, I am just going to throw these questions out there to the blogging world:
Will you remember who you are in 25 years? Will you remember what you feel in 25 years? Do you want your kids to remember you for who you really are, or do you want your kids to remember what they have been told about you? Just something to chew on in all your spare time. I know...we all have oodles of spare time. Maybe you can think about it in between bon bons and during the commercials of your favorite soap...;-)